How Do You Start a Flood?

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.

The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."

That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."

The puzzled lawyer asked, "How do you start a flood?"

Barn Insurance

Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."

Click Means

C.L.I.C.K. means :
C= cant live without u
L= love u
I= i miss u
C= care about u
K= kiss from my heart 2 u
So whenever u miss me just say CLICK.

I Love You

My eyes miss u,
My feeling love u,
My hand need u,
My mind call u,
My heart just 4 u.
I will die without u,
Bcoz I Love U.

I'm the Girl who is right

I dream about you evey night
I shiver when your in sight
I long to hold you close n tight
I wanna be there with all my might
I m just hoping I’m the girl whos right

If you are asking

If Your asking if I Need U the answer is 4Ever..
If Your askin if I’ll Leave U the answer is Never..
If Your askin what I value the Answer is U..
if Your askin if I love U the answer is I do.

If I Had One Wish

If I had one wish I would give you a long and tender kiss and if I had two wishes then I would choose to do it over again.

When You Smiled

When you smiled you had my undivided attention. When you laughed you had my urge to laugh with you. When you cried you had my urge to hold you. When you said you loved me, you had my heart forever.

Dead or Alive

Once Santa Singh, the psychiatrist, met a friend and exclaimed,

"I heard you are dead."

But you see I'm alive, smiled the friend.

Impossible, said Santa Singh. The man who told me is much more reliable than you.

Pathan Rocked

Pathan asked 2 teacher

if black is a color & white is also color

then why

Black & White T.V is not a color T.V

teacher Shocked &

Pathan Rocked :)

joke 4rm fizi

Sardar at bar in New York

Sardar at bar in New York  .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"

Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"

Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

How to remove Dark Circles

Dark circles are a very common skin problem, which is troubling every second person in today's stressful lifestyle. People get rarely any time to get proper sleep and they lack of nutritional diet also, which is one of the many reasons of getting dark circles. Many people inherit this dark circle problem where they get it for no other reason.

• Take proper sleep. At least 8 hours sleep is must for an adult to keep the body and mind fit and to keep the dark circles at bay.


• Drink plenty of fluids at least 2 liters of water a day to keep the skin smooth and supple.


• Eat healthy nutritional diet. Include dairy products in your diet and consume green vegetables and fruits in your daily diet. Food rich in iron helps in reducing dark circles because eat times one gets them because they lack iron in their body and consuming sufficient iron and reduce the dark circles.


• Potato juice has bleaching agents in it, so you can take potato juice out and apply it on your skin. You can soak cotton balls in the juice and can keep them on your eyes for at least 20 minutes while having rest. It helps in reducing the dark circles.


• Grated cucumber juice is very useful for dark circles. You can apply it on the eyes the same way you apply potato juice.


• Tea water too reduces the puffiness and dark circles of the eyes and rejuvenates the eyes by refreshing them. You can boil tea in water and restrain the leaves. You can refrigerate this water in the freeze to make ice cubes. Keep these ice cubes on the eyes in a cotton cloth for 20 minutes.


• Always go out in sun wearing sunglasses and after applying sunscreen lotion on the skin around the eyes.


• Take a teaspoonful of milk powder and apply honey to it. Put this paste on the skin on the dark circles. It helps in reducing the dark circles.


• In the night apply a good company's under eye gel or cream to reduce the darkness around the eyes.


• You can hide your dark circles with a lighter shade of conceler when putting make up on your skin.

5 very effective Best Weight Loss Tips

1. SNACK, BUT SMARTLY

Grazing between meals used to be on the weight-loss hit list. But nutritionists now know that it's better to satisfy a craving with healthy grub than ignore it and risk a junk-food binge later. The best picks are filling, protein-packed snacks, such as one stick of string cheese, a tablespoon of peanut butter on a piece of fruit, or a medium-size bowl of edamame.

2. STEP ON THE SCALE DAILY

If your regular weight increases several days in a row, it's a red flag letting you know you need to cut back a little or beef up your workouts slightly.

3. SCULPT THREE TIMES A WEEK

Doing 5 minutes each of push-ups, lunges, and squats (in 30-second intervals) will help build and maintain muscle mass. The more muscle you have, the higher your metabolism will be, so you'll torch more calories as you go about your day.

4. REACH FOR YOUR CELL

Next time your mind gets stuck on a certain food, call a friend and redirect your brain by asking how her day's going. Research shows that cravings only last about 5 minutes, so by the time you hang up, the urge to devour junk will have subsided.

5. TURN OFF THE TV

Dining while viewing can make you take in 40 percent more calories than usual, reports a new study. And texting, driving, or any other distracting activity during a meal can also result in your eating too much. Instead, make each meal something you put on a plate and sit down to, even if you're eating solo.

Billi Etna Tang karti hay??:(

1 Admi K Ghar Mai Billi Rehti Thi, Wo Billi Se Tang Aa Kr Usay Kahin Chor Aaya. Ghar Aya To Bili Usse Pehlay Pohnch Chuki Thi.
admi Bili Ko Dbara Khen Dor Chor k Aya, Billi Phr Usse Pehlay Ghar Pohanch Gai
Aadmi ko Bht Ghsa Aya Is Baar Wo Billi Ko Bohat Door Chorne Gya.. Wahan Se Usne Wife Ko Fne Kya Aur Kaha Billi Ghar ...Pohanch Gai Ya Nai?
Wife: Han Pohnch Gayi
Aadmi: Use Blo K Mjhe A kar Le Jye, Me Rsta Bhl Gaya Hun

from faryal :)

Cool Math Trick

This math trick is really cool. Just try it!

1. Grab a calculator (You won’t be able to do this one in your head)
2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code-if your number is 01-123-4567, the 1st 3 digits are 123)
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the answer?

Mind Reader

Try to take this test mentally.
Dont write anything down .

1) Pick a number from 2-9.It can be 2, 9 or anything in between.
2) Take that number, and multiply it by 9.
3) That should give you a two digit number. Take those two digits and add them together.
4) Take the resulting number and subtract 5 from it.
5) Take that number and correspond it to the alphabet, numbering the letters A=1,B=2,C=3 and so on…
6) Take your letter, and think of a country that begins with that letter.
7) Take the last letter in the name of that country, and think of an animal that starts with this letter.
Now, take the last letter in the name of that animal, and think of a color that starts with this letter.

Note : There are no Orange Kangaroos in Denmark ….

Dos Commands

Command #1: By typing in ‘tree’ into Dos, you can view all of the folders (not files) on the computer or User. Pretty cool but then again pretty worthless. Just a cool thing to know.

Command #2: By typing in ‘ipconfig’ you can view your default gateway ip adress for your router. This is really only useful if you are good with the computer and are trying to fix your internet connection, you can look at what’s wrong.

Command #3: By typing in ‘format c:’ you can delete all the information on your hard drive, if you want to start new or something, but dont do that just to be an idiot.

Command #4: By typing in ‘netstat’ or ‘nbtstat’ (both similar) you can view the TCP/IP network of your computer.

Command #5: By typing in ‘title whatever’ the blue bar at the top where it is command prompt will be replaced with whatever you typed after title.

Confidence Quotes

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.

Put your future in good hands - your own.

Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.

Kiss........

Kiss is not like Nokia…Connecting People
Kiss is not like Nike..Just Do It.
Kiss is not like Pepsi..Yeh Dil Maange More
But Kiss is like Pan Parag..Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga

I Kiss your Wife

Santa -I kiss my wife daily before i go to office,
Banta -I kiss ur wife after u go to office,
Santa-oye balle balle first to main hi aya!

Can you swim? If no, dog is better than you

American: Can U swim?

Pathan: No

American: Dog is Better den u

bcz It Swims

Pathan: Can u swim?

American: Yes

Pathan: then whats the Difference between u & Dog.

Larki Pata li

Pathan:Aaj mai ne class ki sab se khoobsoorat larki phasai hai

Friend:Oye wo kese?

Pathan:Class lagi thi. Maine kaghaz ka jahaz bana k urra diya

Wo teacher ki naak pe laga

teacher ne ghusse mai poucha kis ne mara ??

Maine us larki ka naam bata diya phas gayi na bichari:))

Paper Art Amazing Things with Papers

Today’s question

Larkiyo

kay "Nails" etnay lambay q hoty hen?????

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="254" caption="......??????......"][/caption]

Job Interview

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"

The young engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

MEMO FROM ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.

Thank you,
Accounting

Attached: Extended Job-Code List

Code Description
5316 Useless Meeting
5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 Waiting for Break
5320 Waiting for Lunch


5321 Waiting for End of Day
5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present
5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5481 Buying Snack
5482 Eating Snack
5500 Filling Out Timesheet
5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502 Waiting for Something to Happen
5503 Scratching Yourself
5504 Sleeping
5510 Feeling Bored
5511 Feeling Horny
5600 Complaining About Lousy Job
5601 Complaining About Low Pay
5602 Complaining About Long Hours
5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
5604 Complaining About Boss
5605 Complaining About Personal Problems
5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
5701 Not Actually Present At Job
5702 Suffering from Eight-Hour Flu
6102 Ordering Out
6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201 Stealing Company Goods
6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6205 Hiding from Boss
6206 Gossip
6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself
6211 Updating Resume
6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter
6213 Out of Office on Interview
6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223 Pretending You Like Coworker
6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks
6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
6601 Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)
6602 Complaining
6603 Writing a Book on Company Time
6611 Staring Into Space
6612 Staring At Computer Screen
6615 Transcendental Meditation
6969 Beating off in Broom Closet
7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone
7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone
7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone
7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone
7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone
7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone
7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
8000 Recreational Drug Use
8001 Non-recreational Drug Use
8002 Liquid Lunch
8100 Reading e-mail
8102 Laughing while reading e-mail

How To Treat Dry Hair

Hair normally has a moisture content of approximately 10%. If your hairs moisture content drops below this level the key is to increase the hairs ability of attract and retain moisture. This is accomplished by using moisturizers.

Good ones have "humectants" that not only replace lost moisture but actually attract moisture and retain it in the cortex of the hair. Essential fatty aids (EFAs) are great moisturizers. One of the best and most cost effective essential fatty acids is safflower oil. It is the kind you can buy to cook with. It is rich in EFAs.

The scalp produces the best EFAs called sebum. The problems is once the hair grows past the neck line or does not have direct contact with the scalp the scalps natural oils can not be utilized throughout the hair shaft.

You can manually replace the lost EFAs by:

• Placing 1 or 2 drops of safflower oil in your palms and rub them together.


• There should only be enough to make your hands "shine" in the light.


• Carefully take your hair (while dry) and "scrunch" the small amount of oil to the ENDS first and work toward the scalp.


• Leave this in your hair.


• 1-2 drops of safflower oil on dry hair is so small, you wont notice it is there.

Doing the above as often as necessary will ensure your dry hair will have the proper amount of humectants to attract and reatin moisture. The key is that a small amount will go a long way.

Natural Tips for Shiny Hairs

By Laci Chiodo

Do you long for shiny tresses, but lack the funds for expensive products and treatments? Don't despair - you don't have to be a supermodel to have gleaming locks. Before you mourn your lackluster strands, head to the kitchen and try these simple solutions to lock in shine the natural way.

Sun, wind, saltwater, pollution, and chemicals are just some of the shine-depleting elements your hair may be subjected to on a daily basis. They can strip your hair of its natural oils and create build-up leaving it dull and lifeless. Fortunately, Mother Nature has a few remedies to share.

The Alluring Avocado
Mash an avocado (one avocado for short hair, two for long) in a bowl until it forms a thick paste. Spread the paste on your hair from root to tip and leave on for 20 minutes. Shampoo and rinse. Avocados are high in fatty acids and nutrients. Feed your hair!

Amazing Apple Cider Vinegar
Mix half a cup of apple cider vinegar with one quart of water and use as a hair rinse after your regular shampoo. Rich in alpha-hydroxy acids, apple cider vinegar helps break down residue build-up leaving your hair soft and full of shine. Rinse your hair with apple cider vinegar and it will be shining in no time.

Eggs Over Olive Oil
Beat together two eggs for short hair, three for long, and add in three tablespoons of olive oil. Coat your hair from root to tip and leave on for 30 minutes. Shampoo and rinse. Eggs contain eleven essential nutrients and are packed with protein. Combine them with olive oil for conditioning and nourishment and you have one powerful duo.

Coconut Craze
Warm three tablespoons of coconut oil and gently comb into your hair from root to tip. Wrap your hair in a hot towel and let the oil sit for 30 minutes. Shampoo and rinse. Loaded with antioxidants, coconut oil works to smooth dry and damaged cuticles and lock in shine.

Life doesn't have to be dull and neither does your hair! It's time to shine! Open your cabinet and start mixing, then sit back and bask in your natural glow.

Bagla ek tang par q sota hay?

Munna Bhai:- a Circuit, apun k mind me 1 laucha chal rela he,
ye Bagla 1 tang utha k kae ko sota he?
Circuit:- aray simple Bhai,
bolay to agar Bagla dosri tang b utha lega to gir jai ga. . . :)

Mehandi Designs

Thousands of languages around this world

Thousands of languages around this world
but
“smile” can beat them all.
Because
“Smile” is the Language even a BABY can speak..

Alu Chana Chat

Alu Chana Chat

Ingredients

• 250 gm Kabuli Chana


• 3 Potatoes


• 1 tsp Cumin Powder


• 1 tsp Chaat Masala


• 1 small Onion


• ¼ inch Ginger piece (grated)


• 1 Tomato


• 2 Green Chilies


• 1/2 tsp Red Chili Powder


• 2 tbsp Chopped Coriander Leaves


• 1 tsp Oil


• 1 to 1½ Lemons (juice)


• Salt to taste

Method

• Boil the chana for 20 minutes. Wash the boiled chana and drain the water. Now boil potatoes, peel it and cut it into 1cm cubes.


• Chop onion into small pieces, cut tomato into medium pieces. Remove seeds from Green chili and chop it finely. Roast cumin powder.


• Heat oil in a non stick pan and put green chili, ginger, onion into it for a minute. Now add Chana and potato and toss till they turn slightly brown.


• Add tomato and toss it over moderate heat. Now sprinkle cumin powder, red chili powder and chaat masala


• Put into a bowl and sprinkle fresh coriander and salt on it. For tangy flavor add lemon juice to it.

Pathan vs Hindu

Hindu ja raha tha pathan sy takar ho gai .........

Hindu:    me shama (mafi) chahta hun .

pathan :    Shama ko ham bhe chahta hay lekin us ka bap nahe manta :)

Amazing Tattoos for Girls

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="432" caption="Tattoos on Foot"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="436" caption="Flower Tattoos"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="437" caption="Arm Tattoos"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="434" caption="Flower Tattoos"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="433" caption="Flower Tattoos"][/caption]



[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="439" caption="Flower Tattoos"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="448" caption="Flower Tattoos"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="455" caption="Butterfly Tattoos"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="469" caption="Butterfly Tattoos"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="467" caption="face tattoos"][/caption]

Eak Rupeya

FaQeer:Ek rupay de do.

Lady: Sharam nhi aati itne smart,
khubsurat,
handsome,
nojawan ho k bheek mangte ho!

FaQer:Acha darling phir 1 "pappi" hi dy do

KEEP SMILING

Smile is a bird,
Who flIes from face to face,
May your lips give it a better nest…..
So that…..
It may stay there,
For ever & ever…..
So…..
“KEEP SMILING”

Sir Ka Msg Aaya

Friend to pathan

Yar,Sir Ka Msg Aaya Hai Ka Aaj Extra Class Hogi

Kya Karu... . . ..


Pathan:-'Message sending failed 'likh ke bhej de....!!!

:) :) :)

Chiken-Biryani me chiken

Pathan gusy se:
'Waiter'
Chiken-Biryani me chiken he nahi hai

Waiter

Sahab gulab jamun me konsa gulab hota hai


Pathan:

"Han yar sorry"

Song of the Day "Baki mea bhol gai

Movie: Action Replay

Song: Baki mea bhool gai

Download

A Rich Baby :)

so cute :)

Katrina Kaif's birth day

Aj Ktrina Kaif ki birth day hay jo ye msg 9 logo ko send kary ga us k khwab me katrina kaif aye g

ek larky ny jhoot samjh kar ye msg del kar dia us k khwab me

"zardari" ageya

A genuis Sardar ji wrote to Bill Gates

Sir,

I have some questions to ask you......

1: The letters are keyboard are not in proper order, when will the corrected version be released?

2: There is " start" button but no "stop" button?

3: We have used MS-Word when will" Mr.word" be released ?

4: There is "any key " button on the keyboard while computer frequently asks for that to press?

And finally a personal question,

5: Why is your name "Gates" even thought you sell "windows"?

Msg from unknown number for fun podium

Potato Salad with Parsley recipe

Ingredients

• 4 medium-sized potatoes, boiled in salted water


• 2 large eggs, boiled & chopped
  (For dressing, mix together)


• Half cup mayonnaise


• Half cup sour cream


• 1 cup mustard paste


• 1 small onion, chopped


• Half cup parsley, chopped


• 1 tbsp lemon juice


• Half tsp lemon peel, grated


• 1 tsp salt


• Pepper, a pinch

Potato Salad with Parsley Preparation:

1. Peel and dice potato when warm.


2. Add chopped egg, dressing & mix well.


3. Cool & serve.

Female Models

[nggallery id=1]

Tu ki Jany Pyar Mera Mp3

Download Song of the day

Tu ki jany pyar mera

by

rahat fateh ali khan

Download

Cat Planet Funny Wallpaper

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="490" caption="Cat Planet Funny Wallpaper"][/caption]

SMS 4rm SADAF :)

mama: bayta kia kar rhay ho

bayta: mama parh raha hun

mama: excelent...  kia prh rhy ho meri jan

bayta: apni jan k msg prh hun mama jan :)

Wife MSC and Husband FSC

Sardar K Gar G Bahir Name Plat Lagi Thi

Wife: MSC

&

Husband: FSC

Kisi Ne Poocha,  Sardar g App Aur Apki Bivi Ne Kis Subjacet Mein MSC Kia or ap nay kis subject mea FSC kia  Hai?

Sardar: Subjacet Da Te Pata Nai Name Plate Da Matlab Ay:

MSC: MotherOf Seven Children

tay
FSC: Father Of Seven Children.....

Sardar ji ki Roti

Sardar ke betay ki roti pr sy chooha ghuzer ghaya.

Beta to sardar:

"PAPA ji hun me ae roti nae khani"

Sardar:

"kha lay putar, choohy nay kehra jutti pai hue c

Sardarji got a SMS

Sardarji got a SMS from his girlfriend:

"I MISS YOU"

Socho sardarji ne kya reply diya hoga

sardar ji nay replay keya

"I Mr. You"

Girlfriend start her speech

In a school function

A K.G boy started closing his ears with
both hands,
when girl was about to start her speech
Others asked him Why r you closing your ears?

He replied: Dude, She is my Girlfriend n She is
gonna start her speech with
.
.
.
.
.
.
My Dear Brothers n Sisters :-)